How to Unplug from a Bad Day

It’s kind of a funny story…

Remember when you were little, and you would get upset, maybe even a bit hysterical over not getting that toy you wanted, or having to share with your sister, or just having do that thing you did not want to do?

And your mom or dad would say – mid tantrum… just breathe, honey, everything is going to be okay.  BUT you didn’t believe them and last thing you want to do was accept what was happening and BREATHE.

Unfortunately, our inner 5 year olds are often still running the show emotionally when we’re having a challenging day or time in our lives.  You see when we were 5, we had no idea how to regulate our emotions and anything that overwhelmed us caused emotions, tears and tantrums to seek an outlet that our bodies could not handle at the time.

Plus, they didn’t teach you any of this stuff in school – right?

So What is the Best Way to Unplug from a Bad Day?

What if I told you that the best way to unplug from a bad day is to just B R E A T H E (first) – because you need to pause before you let a down moment turn into a downward spiral.  When you pause you have a choice, when you breathe slowly and deeply you give your brain the chance to be a grown up, get some distance from whatever is coming your way, and choose how you want to feel.

So first, you B R E A T H E slowly and deeply, like 4 to 5 second inhales and exhales. Make sure you feel your belly and lower and upper parts of your lungs expand with every inhale and contract and soften with every exhale.  You might be surprised how quickly you feel more clear and calm, give it just 3 to 5 minutes. You might even get an unexpected download that can help you with your next step, or even solve or dissolve whatever you’re going through.

Disclaimer – you’re not going to want to do this, especially whenyou’re having a bad day.  Accept that and then be a grown up and do it anyway.

The reward and the long term effects of handling stressful situations in this way, will train your brain to pause, collect and connect your thoughts, rather than unconsciously triggering old unhealthy patterns.

So Now You Have a Cool Way to Cool Down…
Now what? 

You can start to turn your frown upside down and unfurrow your brow by actively seeking to unplug from the charge (the energy) in the situation.  

Admittedly, sometimes it feels good to allow yourself to be angry, a victim or just overwhelmed with grief and sadness… and the truth is sometimes you need to, you’re  human and it can be a healthy part of processing your emotions and experiences.  It’s when we can’t let it go, or we get obsessive, thinking about it over and over, or when our mind is desperate for answers and we start making up stories (meaning fluff, the why? the who? the how?) that keeps us suffering much longer than we need too.

So How Do you Unplug from a Bad Day, a Recurring Bad Memory or Moment or Feeling?

First, you have to be aware that you are plugged in to it.  That you are giving your attention and energy to it, and that means your life force too, the creative forces in you that create your reality.  

Then, you have to ask yourself:

Are you really willing to give that up (your life force and creative energy)  to keep this memory, moment or feeling alive?  Because that is what you do when you stay plugged in. 

You take from, and diminish the energy that would otherwise be available to your immune system, your brain, your loved ones, your work and your ability to be a force in this world.

So are you ready to unplug?
To use your energy in service of your best self and others? Here’s how?

1. Remember just B R E A T H E and that all important pause above.  You’re going to need that. Practice it, call it to you in the times when you need it most. Don’t forget to be a grown up here… you won’t want to do this. But the bes time to breathe is when you don’t want to.
2. Once you’re in that pause, that moment of awareness when you can actually feel the charge and your energy starting to go to it, you can choose not to plug in, not to give it your energy.

As you can imagine just like your inner 5 year old – that energy wants to go somewhere, your mind might keep bugging you until it does – 

3. So go ahead plug that energy into something you want to create, replace the image or memory with a better one, or even better plug it into GOD, source the universe and let it turn out even better than what you could create alone.  Visualize it, feel it and practice it – it will work, and it will change your life!

What if You Can’t or Don’t Want to Feel Better?

I try not to get too personal, {warning if you’re dealing with loss} but a very personal situation keeps coming to mind as I write this today.

Nothing is worse than someone telling you how to feel better when you just feel like you can or you don’t want to, or maybe your just not ready to feel better.  So trust yourself here, but know that you have a choice – right?

Just When you Think Nothing will Help, This Can.

Here is what I mean.  I recently and unexpectedly lost my mom, this wasn’t just a bad day, feeling or memory in the making it was like nothing I ever experienced. I breathe, pause and practice being aware and choosing, and I was’t sure if this would work in this place of deep grief and sadness.  I had one particular memory, I could not shake.

I was with her the last couple of hours of her life, to her last breath.  I held her hand, I thought of the good memories and tried to keep feeling the life in her.  After her last breath, I could not feel the life in her, and I could not shake that last picture of her in my mind… the mom I had known and loved for 50 years in front of me – only without life.   It scared me, it felt traumatic, it felt like it would replace all the other memories and come back to visit me every time I thought of her. It felt like something I did not have the power to change, but I did using the steps I shared with you here.

I recalled and found a picture of my mom that I love, and it reminds me of her aliveness. I took one last look at that last moment and memory and replaced it with the picture I recalled and found before I went to bed.  I woke up with that new picture of her, and I have had it every day since.  It not only changed that moment, but supported me in moving from deep sadness and suffering to healthy grieving and healing.

We suffer, because we stay plugged into the stuff of suffering.  Imagine all the other things you can plug into. All the other places you can use this energy for good in your life and the lives of others.

Is it still worth is to stay plugged in? Even though your answer might be a resounding NO! 

In those moments, in that charge, you won’t want to unplug, you might even being hardwired to suffer or maybe even getting something out of it.   But the grown up in you knows better, let the grown up take over.

I promise it will not only change your bad day, it will change your life!

With love,
Wendi – TRU founder teacher & trainer.